Christian pop culture through the eyes of a radical housewife and part time atheist, Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon. Online since 1995. Stop by every day for the latest in Christian crime, intimidation, fraud, and foolishness.

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Jesus Appears in Cat Fur

jesus cat fur

A family in Indiana is seeing the face of Jesus in the fur of one of their rescue kitties. Lori Johnson told reporters,
[My husband] says 'i swear that looks like jesus with a shroud on' and i'm like 'ok,' and then my son took that picture, and it was like 'wow!'

After looking at the picture and stuff, it was like 'oh, there it is.'

See the eyes beard. here's the shroud.
Jesus has been showing up a lot of places lately - in cheetos, in the laundry, in utility poles - but I think he's finally got it right. If he wants to be omnipresent, cat hair is the way to go.

Jesus, Just a Lineman for the County

jesus light pole

Residents of a Brownsville, Texas hotel were praying to Jesus during the wrath of Hurricane Dolly when they saw what appeared to be Jesus crucifed to a utility pole. A makeshift shrine has been erected.

The Plane Truth

jesus sucks

Ha! Those crazy Canuckstanis,
Anyone who was in downtown Toronto around noon Monday got an extra special treat. Kenneth Joel Hotz, from the Canadian TV show Kenny vs. Spenny, arranged to have a plane fly around with a banner that read "Jesus Sucks." In an interview with a reporter from the National Post, Mr. Hotz said: "I guess it's freedom of speech. I'm sure people got pissed off, but I don't think it was offensive. I don't really think that Jesus sucks."

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Notes from the Crackersphere


This was forwarded to me today with the subject line "GOD FORBID!!!," and the copy,
We CAN NOT let this guy become president - America will become a Muslim nation if he does and that will be the END
of America!!!

(Note the text on ACLU...)

Worth a thousand words.....
So many crackers and so few cracker abusers.

Silence of the Lambs

anthony hopkins

Evangelical preacher, Anthony Hopkins, 37, of Mobile, AL, is facing charges of murder, rape, sodomy and incest.

Hopkins is a suspect in the murder of his wife, Arletha, who was found in a freezer. No one had seen her for about three years. Hopkins' eight children were home-schooled and sexual abuse is suspected.

While Hopkins was preaching at a revival Monday night, the eldest of his children walked into the Child Advocacy Center and filed a complaint against Hopkins.

Police later entered the church, with guns drawn, and arrested Hopkins.

The children are now in protective custody.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

It Can Happen To Anybody

It could happen to you!

His Rumbling Fury

earthquake damage

The earthquake wasn't that big, just a 5.4, but it was a little bit scary. The only casualty at my house was this fetal sculpture that I fashioned out of clay from our yard when we first moved here.

Should I take it as a sign that God did not spare this little thing in his rumbling fury?

Monica Goodling | The Shame of Pat Robertson's Law School

"But I didn't mean to," mewed Monica Goodling, as she evaded admitting that she broke the law.

Monica Goodling, along with 150 others, are graduates of Pat Robertson's Regent University law school hired by the Bush administration. Monica Goodling, a former Justice Department employee, played a role in the firing of seven US Attorneys last year. She pled the Fifth Amendment before Congress, refusing to implicate herself by testifying under oath.

Regent University, "America's Preeminent Christian University," is ranked a tier four law school, the lowest rating possible, by US News and World Report. Regent's tagline reads, "Christian Leadership to Change the World."

Goodling also passed over qualified attorneys to hire less qualified attorneys who toed the Republican party line. From Time To Prosecute Goodling And Company,
The damning report by the Office of Professional Responsibility establishes for all time that former Justice officials Monica Goodling and Kyle Sampson, to name just a few, violated federal law and Department policy when they "improperly considered political or ideological affiliations in screening candidates for certain career positions" at Justice. Over and over again, these lawyers and public servants put their ideological goals over the work of the nation.

From the OIG Report: "We concluded that the most systemic use of improper political or ideological affiliations in screening candidates for career positions occurred in the selection of immigration judges, who work in the Department's Executive Office for Immigration Review..... Goodling screened candidates for immigration judges using a variety of techniques for determining their political affiliation, including researching the candidates' political contributions and voter registration records, and using an Internet search string containing political terms."
monica goodlingMark Frauenfelder at titled his Goodling post Compunctious smirk of Justice Department official accused of federal crime and wrote perceptively of Goodling, "My five-year-old daughter pulled this same face when I reprimanded her for sneaking a box of brown sugar into the backyard to feast on it."

- From the US Department of Justice | An Investigation of Allegations of Politicized Hiring by Monica Goodling and Other Staff in the Office of the Attorney General

- Monica Goodling, One of 150 Pat Robertson Cadres in the Bush Administration

- Antidote | Daily Show: Monica Goodling and Pat Robertson University

Monday, July 28, 2008

ACLU Represents Pastor Imprisoned for Quoting Scripture

The ACLU has taken up the cause of Rev. Ed Pinkney, of Benton Harbor, MI, imprisoned for quoting scripture to a judge. Pinkney quoted Deuteronomy 28:14-22 which contains a series of curses including, but not limited to, fever, inflammation, blasting, and mildew.
14And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

15But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:

16Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field.

17Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store.

18Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.

19Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

20The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly; because of the wickedness of thy doings, whereby thou hast forsaken me.

21The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.

22The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.
Deuteronomy 28:14-22
Chief Judge Alfred M. Butzbaugh did not take kindly to the narrative and sentenced Pinkney to prison.

Religious Liberals Targeted by Gunman


Jim Adkisson, 58, of Powell, TN entered Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church and shot nine congregants, killing two. Other congregants subdued the gunman and held him until police arrived.

Adkisson broke in on a children's performance of Annie. No children were wounded.

According to the Guardian UK police found a four-page manifesto in Adkisson's SUV in which he expressed that the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church was a bastion of liberalism in an otherwise socially conservative area of eastern Tennessee.

Crack Prayer Released

obamas prayerWhile in Israel Barrack Obama placed a handwritten prayer into a crack of Jerusalem's Western Wall. A seminary student allegedly removed the prayer and released the contents to the press. It goes a little something like this,
Forgive me my sins, and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just. And make me an instrument of your will.
Placing prayers written on paper into a crack of the Western wall is a custom that dates back to around the 18th century when Ohr Ha-chaim wrote an amulet for a man who needed aid and told him to place it in a crack in the wall. The notes are supposed to be a private exchange between God and the petitioner. Removing them to read the contents is considered sacrilegious.

I like Obama's prayer, especially the balance he strikes between pride and despair. I'd never thought of those two as a binary, and perhaps Obama didn't intend to position them as such, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

I also like the way he wrote it on hotel stationery - a classy touch I hope the Lord appreciates.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Best Conversion Scene EVER

Reese Witherspoon is brilliant in Freeway. In the last 30 seconds or so her character convinces Keiffer Sutherland's character to accept Jesus into his heart as his own personal Lord and Savior.

If you've never seen this movie, treat yourself.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Darmwin is Fucking Ruthless

Rev. David Few - Minister of Sports Outreach
We believe that sports and recreation open up a world of opportunities to witness to the community the love Christ has for them. The Sports and Recreation Ministry at First Baptist Church Indian Trail includes activities for children through adults at all levels and abilities. Please come and join us!
First Baptist Church Indian Trail, NC
Thanks, J-Walk!

Darwin Will Not Be Mocked!

motorcycle stunt

Pastor Jeff Harlow broke his wrist Sunday, when he lost control of a motorcycle he was using during an object lesson, and road it off the dias into an empty first row of seats. He gave the sermon, One - May We Be One - Honor One Another, twice Sunday. The first sermon went off without a hitch, but Darwin caught up with him during the second one.

Harlow had never ridden a motorcycle before and practiced in the parking lot the day before. In his first sermon, he said,
I was trying to feel my way around the parking lot yesterday, hit second gear, and popped a wheelie, and didn't intend to. Didn't know how to get it back down after I had got it up.
That's what she said.

Harlow will need surgery to repair his wrist. No one else was hurth.

Harlow's wife, Becky, commented,
He had this idea that he would bring this bike out onstage and show people how the rider would become one with the bike.
At this point his wife is probably just as glad he used a motorcycle to illustrate human unity, rather than her.

Watch Jeff Harlow's Sermon | One - May We Be One - Honor One Another

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I've Shorn My Crowning Glory


I cut off all my hair yesterday. I was beginning to have that FLDS look. This photo is after they braided the long stuff and chopped it off. The braid's going to Locks of Love - to make wigs for kids with cancer.

Shortly after this photo was taken the rest of my hair was cut - almost like a boy cut. It's great - cool, light, neat, easy and fast. I'll no longer feel like I'm tangled in a kelp forest at the beach.

Thanks, Fandango!

It Gets Better Beneath the Fold

bible tattoo

Some people have trouble with reading the Bible, especially the King James Version, but I'll bet they'll find this one a little more enticing.

Thanks, Dan Savage!

Catholic Pilgrim Welcomed to Australian Sexpo

world youth day

According to LiveNews,
[Catholic] Pilgrims will receive half-price tickets on Thursday if they bring their WYD badges to the event at the Hordern Pavilion.
Apparently, Sydney's Archbishop Cardinal George Pell urged the faithful to "procreate or perish" and the Sexpo has stepped in to help.

The Sexpo is also taking donation which will be given to "Broken Rites," a group that helps victims of clergy sex abuse.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

All Religions Are Created Equal

goddess afoot
The goddess is not afoot
Wiccan practitioner Katherine Gunther, 36, was performing a ceremony of thanks in the Oak Hill Cemetery around midnight last week when she accidently ran a three-foot long ceremonial sword through her foot. Gunther suffered a compound fracture and should have been released yesterday.

Woman accidentally stabs herself in cemetery ritual


White Guy Telling Us What We Need and Deserve

values summit

Yesterday I received an email from cracker Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council:
On August 16, McCain and Obama will appear separately to discuss what [Rick] Warren describes as "main areas of focus"-AIDS, poverty, human rights and the environment. While the Left would have us believe that this is the faith community's new agenda, a candid discussion of traditional values issues such as life, marriage, and religious freedom is what American voters need and deserve. (my emphases)
The FRC is sponsoring a Values Voter Summit in September, and at first glance, have an impressive lineup. Why, it even looks like Barrack Obama will be there!

Ha! Fooled you! He's an invited guest, as are the other luminaries whited out in the photo above.

Who is confirmed to represent, at this event, the traditional values that Tony Perkins holds so dear? For starters, not-gay GaryBauer, gambling addict Bill Bennett, convicted felon Charles Colson, and thrice married Newt Gingrich.

They'll be there, along with others, to tell you what you should care about - the not-born and the not-hetero. The world you live in - with its disease, poverty, human rights abuses, and environmental degradations, you know, leftist issues, are all sloppy seconds to Tony Perkins' sex fantasies.

Values Voter Summit, September 12-14, Washington, DC

The Great Snatch

the great snatch

An entire Flickr photo set on Gold Key and Spire comics.
These are Christian themed comic books from the 1970's and early 80's. I had four or five of them growing up and although I didn't completely get it, I always enjoyed them, even if only for the dirty drugged out hippies or WWII soldiers that were often portrayed in sensational ways.
I think in a three-way race between the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Ceiling Cat and the Great Snatch, I'd choose the latter every time.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Texas Chainsaw Celibacy

go celibacy!
The SRT celibacy chainsaw killer at the St. Augustine, FL event

Literarly sixes and sixes, or "dozens," of young women and men took a pledge for celibacy last weekend in Virginia. One wore a wedding gown and accepted a silver wedding band saying, "We're getting married to Jesus today. It's a covenant with Jesus today that we will remain pure and holy until we get married."

The Virginian-Pilot reported on another enthusiastic participant,
"Hallelujah!" yelled Shereen Osbourne, a 26-year-old hair stylist who asked her four children to slip the celibacy band on her finger. "I thank you, Lord, you're so good to me, Jesus."
This version of a celibacy ring is being marketed by The Silver Ring Thing, the name of the company probably brainstormed by the same people who brought us Veggie Tales | The Priates Who Don't Do Anything.

The Silver Ring Thing is a celibacy franchise which hawks events, a curriculum, a line of licensed products, and of course, a silver celibacy ring - for those who have attended a qualifying event or slogged through the curriculum.
The program also presents an evangelistic message focused on forgiveness and new beginnings with an opportunity to embrace a "second virginity." Students who make a commitment to abstinence may purchase a silver ring as a symbol and reminder of their decision.
The photo above is from The Silver Ring Thing's St. Augustine, Florida event. Don't ask me why a celibacy franchise would employ a chain-saw weilding serial killer. I don't get the chainsaw, but I don't get the celibacy obsession, either.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dresden Dolls Sing "Satan Is Real"

louvin brothers satan is realIf you've never heard the Louvin Brothers sing "Satan is Real," then you're in for a real treat. I've bought this album several times, and each time it's been pinched. Plus, this has to be one of the best album covers ever, especially if you have a penchant, as do I, for old timey, backwoods Christian culture.

Louvin Brothers | Satan Is Real

The Joy of Tracts and Pamphlets


Lisa Anne Auerbach's "Manifestoes in miniature" was published in the LA Times Book Review section yesterday. She's discovered the joy of Bible tracts and specifically of the Free Tract Society, on York, in Los Angeles. Go there, and you'll get your pick of a half pound of Bible tracts, free.

free tract societyThe Free Tract Society, Interdenominational
6012 York Boulevard
Los Angeles CA 90042

Phone: 323-254-8303

Tuesday through Saturday
10:30am to 5:00pm
Closed Sunday, Monday & Holidays

Auerbach started her own tract society, The Tract House, starting off with a respectable 62 tracts offering
a collection of concerns, solutions,stories, tactics, rule[s], and questions on subjects ranging from heirloom vegetables to capitalist pigs. Susan Lutz's short story about Sunday dinner aims to persuade readers to get together once a week with friends and family for a meal
The tracts may be downloaded and printed free from Tracthouse.

Richard Feynman on Doubt and Uncertainty

From BBC Science and Nature, Horizon:
Richard Feynman was one of the most brilliant theoretical physicists and original thinkers of the 20th century. He rebuilt the theory of quantum electrodynamics, and it was for this work that he won the Nobel Prize in 1965
In 1981, he gave Horizon a candid interview, talking about many things close to his heart.
Richard Feynman | The Pleasure of Finding Things Out


Pirates - Maybe Not the Best Role Models for Christians

Sure, we all love pirates, but as far as role models go, most of us have problems with the raping and pillaging. So how do good Christians repurpose pirates for the sake of the children?

It had to be a committee, because one single Christian mind could not have come up with this brilliant solution: Veggie Tales | The Priates Who Don't Do Anything.

For pirates who don't do anything, there's an awful lot of merchandising. There's a movie and a vacation bible school curriculum and an outreach campaign kit. There's a soundtrack, a fan club, a Jonah Pirate Ship Playset, a web site, and SO much more.

The meaning of the title is a little fuzzy, but it has to do with the vegetables being lazy. The message is that they should stay in school so they can be better pirates. That anyone of any size or shape can be a hero for Jesus seems to be the secondary theme.

Will that do? Because I really don't want to watch this movie.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sunday Funnies

Christian tells you how to win an argument with an evolutionist:
The quickest way to win an argument with an evolutionist is to get them to admit they come from the animal kingdom according to their beliefs -- and that's what it is, a belief --. And they will admit that, they have no shame about saying: "Yeah, I believe I come from the animal kingdom."

Well, when you get them to admit that you can then say: "Okay, as a creationist I can no longer take you seriously. And even as an evolutionist I wouldn't be able to take you seriously cause well, I don't take animals seriously when they have anything to say. And, well, since you believe you're from the animal kingdom, I have no reason to take you seriously. You can try and rationalize that all you want, and say "Well, I'm an modified monkey" or "I'm an evolved animal, with intelligence", well, that's your own oppinion, which is the oppinion of a modified animal. So, I can't take you seriously."
Thank you, Fundies Say the Darndest Things

Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain

brent rinehart

How does Brent Reinhart, a Christian, conservative, appeal to his Oklahoma constituency? By creating a comic book featuring angels and devils and gays chasing after their children. Even if his constituents can't read, they'll get the picture. Rinehart and friend Shane Suiters wrote and illustrated the comic book. Rinehart spells out the long words, like "pedophile," fonetically. Everyone knows using "ph" for "f" is gay.

brent rinehart

Attorney General Drew Edmondson, described in the comic as a "democrat and homosexual advocate," filed felony campaign finance charges last year against Rinehart and his former campaign manager. The trial begins in September.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

"Gigi" is French for "Lolita," People

English Christian Catherine Hanly found her knickers in a twist over a girl's bedroom set model named Lolita.

Said Christian brayed,
I expect a company like Woolworths to actually know what ['Lolita'] means and the connotations and stuff... [Lolita] has become a name that is synonymous with sexual precocity and the fact that it is tied to a girl's bed - it literally couldn't be worse taste.
Well, where's the outrage over a Christian book series featuring a character names Gigi, marketed to young girls?

Former 700 Club co-host Sheila Walsh has written a book series for girls including "Gigi, God's Little Princess," "The Pink Ballerina," and "The Royal Tea Party." In addition, Walsh tarted up a Bible and labeled it "God's Little Princess Devotional Bible." Here's the product description for the GLP Bible:
Girls long to be loved and adored, and give their heart to their hero. God is that hero! The characteristics focused on in this Bible storybook will help your little girl blossom into the princess she was created to be. Virtues to create beauty such as compassion, sharing, and truth are highlighted in fun and engaging ways. The perfect format for girls to learn about their destiny as a daughter of their King. Features included are: Beauty Secrets, Bible Princesses, My Hero (Scripture promises), Take a Bow (Easy plays that are Bible-focused), I Adore You (Put girls energy to use with songs, scripture and worship), Royal Truths, Down In My Heart (Scripture Memory), Princess Charming, Worthy of Love (Ideas to show how to love her royal subjects: family, siblings, friends and those in the community).

Doesn't Sheila Walsh know about Gigi the musical, directed by Vincente Minnelli in 1958? Gigi features a young girl training to be a high class French prostitute.

Here's the plot, as outlined on Wikipedia:
Madame Alvarez sends Gigi to her Aunt Alicia's to be groomed as a famous grand cocette (courtesan) in their family's tradition, and learn etiquette and charm...

[Gaston Lachaille] visits Gigi later, but she tells him she does not wish to become someone's mistress; she wants more for herself than to be passed between men, only desired until they grow tired of her and she moves on to another.
It's possible that Sheila Walsh is so culturally clueless that she missed this meaning of the name Gigi. Even so, she imbues the name of her character with meanings just as objectionable. Her heroine is self-centered, grasping, entitled and dictatorial, not exactly the characteristics with which you want to saddle a child - Christian, or not.

Sheila Walsh, get a job.

Thanks, Lawyers, Guns and Money

Wikipedia: Gigi

Wikipedia: Sheila Walsh

Sheila | "Inspiring women to fall in love with Jesus.

The Gigi Store selling scepters, ballet set, dolls, T-shirts, stickers, playhouses, and other crap.

CBN: Sheila Walsh: God Matters

Sheila Walsh advises: God answers all my prayers, but the ones relating to money.

Rapture Ready! by Daniel Radosh

rapture ready, daniel radosh

I haven't read the book, but it looks promising, from an author after my own heart.

Review from Sam Seder, Air America Radio,
Radosh has discovered a world that is hilarious, unpredictable, and lucrative! It seems there's a foreign country in America and it's right down the street...and now I'm not so sure that I'm not the foreigner.

Rapture Ready!: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture

Rapture Ready web site
Daniel Radosh's Blog

Friday, July 18, 2008

"Don't Jerk Us Around by the Gas Nozzle"

Larry Craig, taking a stance on oil issues.

Silly, silly man.

Eww! Lady Parts?

John McCain was asked if he thought it was fair that insurance companies might pay for viagra, but not birth control.

McCain grimaced painfully, as if he'd been asked to examine a vaginal discharge, and replied,
I certainly don't want to discuss that issue.
The reporter rephrased, and after a very awkward eight second pause, McCain answered,
I don't know enough about it to give you an informed answer.
After raising his eyebrows, and wincing visibly he continued,
It's something that I had not thought much about.
McCain acted as if it were a question from left field, from some obscure splinter group asking about fringe issues, and not something that affects 51% of the United States population.

It may be an optional issue for John McCain, but it certainly isn't an optional issue for all the women in this country, and for the men who love them.

Put on your big girl panties, John McCain. The vagina is your friend. Get familiar with it.

A Sad End

western scrub jay

The jays were going crazy this morning - a total cacophony. I went outside to check and counted at least a dozen of them near the shed screaming and screeching. I found this little pile of feathers near the compost and fear it was my wounded jay, the victim of a hawk or coyote.

It's amazing that so many scrub jays came from near and far to join together, though unsuccessfully, against a common enemy.

My take away is not to feed the jays on the ground. I usually leave their peanuts on our patio table. It has a large umbrella which conceals them from the hawks.

I had to feed my wounded jay on the ground, though, as she could not fly. I suppose her chances of survival were low, but I will miss her, if indeed this was her.

Wounded Scrub Jay | The Series

Wounded Scrub Jay
Scrub Update
The Scrub Jay Drama Continues

Jesus Christ on a Bike! Check Out Those Handlebars!

jesusYes, it probably looks a little something like this. A vandal used a Sharpie to carve a moustache onto the apparition of Jesus on a utility pole. Reactions were strong.
There’s a lot of negativity and mean people, the best thing for them to do is stay away.

It wasn't like that yesterday. The eyes, it looks like he’s crying with that mark they put there. People are mean.

It makes me feel bad. They think it’s funny, but it’s not.

It's there, I feel something. I'm feeling the Holy Spirit here.

'Jesus' image vandalized

This Just In...

5,000 gallons of molasses spill on Texas highway SUGARLAND, TX.

Pope Honored with Jesus Look Alike Contest

jesus look alike

How did the Australians, known as some of the least religious people on the planet, celebrate the Pope's visit and his World Youth Day? By having a Jesus Look-a-Like Competition.

Nick van Tiel, above, a Sydney bartender, held a plate behind his head to complete his look.

The event was sponsored by radio station 2Day FM, hosted by Kyle and Jackie O. There's a $1000 prize at stake.

Australia is not "God's own country"

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Catholic School Principal Arrested - Naked, Having Sex with Two Men

de jesus
Gabriel De Jesus, 41, the principal of Sacred Heart School For The Arts, an elementary school, was arrested Sunday night in the backyard of an abandoned house. He was charged with public lewdness, trespassing and disorderly conduct. De Jesus was naked and having sex with two men.

Police are looking for one man who escaped.

"Run, Toto, run! He got away! He got away!"

Police: Catholic School Principal Arrested for Outdoor Sex Scene; Another Man Sought

First Sponge Bob, Now Barbie

black canary barbie
Mattel's new Black Canary Barbie, fashioned after a DC comic superhero, is the new whipping boy of the religious right. A group called Christian Voice protested to the tabloids,
Barbie has always been on the tarty side and this is taking it too far. A children’s doll in sexually suggestive clothing is irresponsible - it's filth.
But modeling an impossible 36-18-38 figure to young girls - that's AOK.

S&M Barbie lashed by public

This ChristianVoice? If the UK has a Deep South this web site represents it.


Utility Jesus

utility jesus

First the faithful of Texas spotted Jesus pumping gas in a slab of marble, and now the people of Alice, Texas have spotted him lurking around a utility pole. What's up with that?

Is Jesus trying to tell us that we should have been nicer to Ken Lay? Or is it pareidolia, which according to Wikipedia is "the phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant"?

I think we see Jesus where we need to see him. When everything's going good we see him in tortillas, cheetos, and spaghetti. When we're having an energy crisis we find him around our gas and electricity. I wonder where he'll show up when more banks start collapsing?

Image Of Jesus Christ On Utility Pole Viewed By Hundreds Of People

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Brothers Grim

grunke brothers

Nicholas Grunke, the son of Methodist minister Kerry Grunke, enlisted his twin brother Alex, and friend Dustin Radke, to help him score with a girl he'd seen only in a newspaper photo - in her obituary. The three boys, then all 20, first went to Wal*MART to buy condoms and then to the cemetery to dig her up. They planned to take her home. Fortunately, they failed to break into the concrete vault enclosing her coffin.

The state of Wisconsin, where the crime occurred, did not have a law against necrophilia, so tried to convict the trio on sexual assault, as the lady in question was unable to consent. The charges have since been dropped, and the state has banned sex with dead people.

You might recall that earlier this year two homeskooled boys in Texas, Matthew Richard Gonzalez and Kevin Wade Jones, dug up the body of an 11-year-old boy buried in 1921 to fashion a bong from his skull.

What's up with white boys and dead people? Is it a lack of socialization? Too much DIY? Is it some strange conflation of world religions and multiculturalism - maybe the Mormon practice of baptizing the dead and an earth-friendly green practice of not letting anything go to waste?

Alfred Kinsey suggested, in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, that men denied socially acceptable sexual oulets, like consensual sex with humans, were more likely to engage in strange practices like beastiality, not explicitly prohibited by their parents or church. So parents, don't assume your kids know they shouldn't have sex with donkeys (or the dead) - it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".

Smoking Gun | Sex-With-Corpse Scheme Busted

Wisconsin Supreme Court Issues Ruling in Necrophilia Case

Home Skooled Goodness, raid grave to make bong from human skull

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

In Other News...

amish car and buggy freshener

ACLU defends Amish men in buggy case
Defense: Lights violate religious beliefs

X things you didn't know about Pope Benedict XVI
"The Vatican said, in response: 'The Pope, in summary, does not wear Prada, but Christ.'"

Plane crash in S.J.: "It was like God landed it."

Samurai sword trial: 'God's orders' questioned

John Lennon - Lennon: 'The Beatles Were A Christian Band'

Cardinal George Pell | "Jesus didn't hand out condoms"
"Pell said that the greatest challenges faced by the Australia Catholic Church was the belief that life could be good without faith and the sugar-coating of divorce and serial monogamy for young people."

Homer said, "Mmm..., sugar-coated divorce and serial monogamy..."

From | UCF Catholic Group Faces Hazing Charges For Protecting 'Body Of Christ'
This is getting ridiculous..., but creative...


Oh, Brother, How ART Thou?! Rrrowwr!

mormon beefcake
While the FDLS are busy putting clothes ON Mormons, one brother, Chad Hardy, is busy taking them OFF. His brainchild is the Men on a Mission 2009 calendar, featuring half naked Mormon missionaries.

T-shirts imprinted with Mormon-mocking images sell on the MormonsExposed web site and come in the colors "Palmyra Pink," "Fireside Orange," "Celestial White," "Beehive Blue," and "Brigham Blue," One image features a male figure with several female figures, presumably wives, against a silhouette of the state of Utah.

Hardy has now been excommunicated from the Mormon church.

Visit to find out about your favorite praymate.

Thanks, | Excommunicated: LDS Church boots creator of 'Men on a Mission' calendar
Myspace | 2009 Men On A Mission Calendar

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Scrub Jay Drama Continues

scrub jay with broken wing
Scrub jay with broken wing

For those of you who've been keeping up on my little backyard drama, here's the latest photo of my scrub jay with the broken wing. The bottom five or six longest feather finally came loose. The white area below her wing, shown here, should be covered with the missing blue feathers.

She's drinking from a little waterfall in our pond.

She looks much better, and can actually fly down pretty gently. She may never fly like a regular bird, but I think she's going to be all right.

One Lucky Teen Will Win An AR-15 Semiautomatic Assault Rifle

windsor hills baptist church
Teens compete in last year's shooting competition

The Windsor Hills Baptist Church of Oklahoma City, OK is so hip and happenin' that its fresh, cutting edge design crafted to inspire teens to attend the 2008 Youth Conference centers on vignettes of four old white guys and a silver anniversary theme, all fitting for a bank in the 1960s. (Wouldn't sepia tones have been phatt3r?)
white guys

But wait! If that doesn't bring the kids in droves, their AR-15 Giveaway give away should.

That's right - a semiautomatic assault rifle will be given away to one lucky teenager!

Even though the commie pinko KOCO Oklahoma City News announced that the gun giveaway was cancelled, it looks like the church might be going ahead with it.

Bob Ross, the portly, grey-haired youth director with the George Hamilton tan was quoted,
I don't want people thinking 'My goodness, we're putting a weapon in the hand of somebody that doesn't respect it who are then going to go out and kill, That’s not at all what we're trying to do.
windsor hills baptist church
There are plenty of other youth activities besides the gun giveaway:
Preacher Boys' Competitions, Boys' Basketball, Girls' Volleyball, Chunch Revival, Two Dramatic Plays, The Youth Workers' Choir, The North/South School of the Prophets, Preacher Kids' Conference, Soulwinning Blitz, Ladies' Banquet, Men's Day at the Camp with Swimming, Mud Games, and More!, Big Country Cookout, Hilarious Skits, Game Rooms, Red HOT preaching, Ice Skating, and MUCH more!
Rumors that the gun giveaway was canceled seem to be exaggerated, as a statement on the WHBC website quietly claims the event is on again:
Although the shooting competition that was to take place during the Youth Conference had been canceled, due to false statements* made by the Oklahoma City TV Channel 5 (KOCO) and subsequently reported also by media outlets across the country, an AR-15 was donated last Saturday so that the competition could go on as planned.

If Congress, back when our country was fighting for its independence could give engraved muskets to the fifteen or so eleven year old boys that their teacher, Mr. Akins, led into battle against the British, then we can give away a firearm still today, especially since our Supreme Court just re-emphasized our Second Amendment rights.

*False statements: 1) That a gun had been purchased for $800; 2) That the local TV channel intervened to keep us from giving away an AR-15.
I don't know. Which do you think is worse, giving an assault rifle to a teenager or giving away a baby?

One of last year's themes was "Is It In You?" (That's what SHE said!)

Watch the video from last year's event Eww! Check out the ice skating party - all the girls are wearing FDLS-style calf-length skirts - one in desert camo fabric!

Holy Ghost People, by Peter Adair

holy ghost people by peter adair

Dang! Holy Ghost People documents a Holy Ghost congregation in Scrabble Creek, West Virginia, directed by Peter Adair in 1967.

If you like primitive music, a backwoods accent, tongues, snake handling, and grainy black and white, you'll love these videos. It reminds me of the churches I used to go to when I was a kid.

Margaret Mead said this is one of the best ethnographic films ever made.


Wikipedia: Holy Ghost People
Holy Ghost People - a documentary by Peter Adair (1967)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Who Will Help Me Consecrate My Crackers?

communion hosts
Carmelite Nuns Allowed to Make Communion Wafers

Catholics are up in arms over a University of Minnesota professor, P.Z. Myers, who has threatened vague desecrations of a communion host. The exchange has become quite heated with Catholic making death threats.

At first I agreed with the Catholics - Myers didn't have to go out of his way to purposely defile the Catholic ritual of communion. It's one thing to write about how ridiculous it is - another to actually ritually defile a cracker.

P.Z. Myers only threatened various abuses, but did not go into specifics. And, really, I'd bet he was kidding - that he has more important things to do than affix googly eyes to a host and put on a puppet show. The Catholic Church has a history of blowing things like this out of proportion, AND with meeting them with violence. They should be very careful about getting their members riled up.

Shortly after the Fourth Lateran Council in 1215 rumors of host desecration began circulating, especially that of Jews stealing consecrated hosts and crucifying them in a practice that came to be known as "host nailing."

In THE PURSUIT OF THE MILLENNIUM, by Norman Cohn writes,
For if from the point of view of a Jew an atrocity committed on the host would be meaningless, from the point of view of a medieval Christian it would be a repetition of the torturing and killing of Christ. ...this interpretation is born out by the many stories of how, in the middle of the tortured wafer, Christ appeared as a child, dripping blood and screaming.
In Christian Blood Lust and Its Manifestation in Vampyre Myth, I wrote about host nailing,
Between the years of 1243 and 1761 thousands of Jews were tortured and executed for the crime of host desecration. Most were burned, many were mutilated. In 1370 almost every Belgian Jew was massacred, man, woman and child, for the crime of host nailing.
In truth, I wouldn't have to go as far as P.Z. Myers promised - profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse. All I, as a woman, would have to do to defile a consecrated host is pray over the cracker, or try to serve the cracker to someone else. From the Catholic Encyclopedia:
Against these errors the Fourth Lateran Council (1215) confirmed the ancient Catholic teaching, that "no one but the priest [sacerdos], regularly ordained according to the keys of the Church, has the power of consecrating this sacrament".
And in case you had any questions after the reformation:
The Council of Trent opposed this teaching of Luther, and not only confirmed anew the existence of a "special priesthood" (Sess. XXIII, can. i), but authoritatively declared that "Christ ordained the Apostles true priests and commanded them as well as other priests to offer His Body and Blood in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass" (Sess. XXII, can. ii).
This is a religion for whom more than half the human race is a walking, talking abomination. Women, just by virtue of being alive, are unclean and inferior, need to be ritually separated from the community and cleansed, can't consecrate communion because they are so vile, and can't minister the gospel as a man does. The Catholic church treats women as cow like creatures too stupid to manage their own health issues. Don't think for a minute that this kind of foul doctrine doesn't bleed over into our culture 24/7.

So as far as I'm concerned, PZ Myers, you defile those crackers all you want - at least until the Catholic church stops holding women hostage to a crumbling old book written by a bunch of superstitious perverts.

The Carmelite Monastery: Making Altar Breads

Catholic EncyclopediaThe Blessed Eucharist as a Sacrament

Christian Blood Lust and Its Manifestation in Vampyre Myth

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Pastor Arrested, Snakes Confiscated

Gregory James Coots, 36, pastor of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name, was arrested, along with nine others, by Kentucky wildlife officers. The group was allegedly involved in the venomous snake trade.

Wildlife officers confiscated more than 100 snakes "...including 42 copperheads, 11 timber rattlesnakes, three cottonmouth water moccasins, a western diamondback rattlesnake, two cobras and a puff adder," according to an AP article.

In 1995 a woman died during one of Coots' church services after being bitten by a rattlesnake.

Pastor among suspects in illegal snake bust
YouTube.comHoly Ghost People, part 1 of 6

Friday, July 11, 2008

Jesus Appears in Bucket of Spumoni

spumoni jesus
Customers at Hatch's Family Chocolates in Salt Lake City, discovered Jesus in a bucket of spumoni. The company will be preserving the image.


Bush is a Tard


Bush bid the other world leaders attending the G8 Summit in Tokyo adieu by saying, "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." According to,
He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.
Bush has now returned to 'batin'.

AP: Calif. group proposes George W. Bush Sewage Plant
NY Times: McCain Adviser Refers to 'Nation of Whiners'
Oh, No! Christie Brinkley's getting divorced!

Those Crazy Crackers

frackin cracker

PZ Myers is a biologist and associate profesor at the University of Minnesota. He also writes the science blog Pharyngula. I gave him a nod the other day for his post, It's A Frackin’ Cracker!, about the communion wafer "kidnapping".

While Googling himself Bill Donohue of the Catholic League discovered Myers' post and marshalled the full force of his furies against Myers for his blasphemy, urging his minions to email the university demanding Myers' ouster. Bill Donohue quotes himself in the press release:
It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ. We look to those who have oversight responsibility to act quickly and decisively.
With the McDonalds' protests still fresh in my mind I imagine the general tone of the emails to the University of Minnesota will go something a little something like this:
Because of your disrespect for the Cathlic death cookie I and my 6 children and 16 grandchildren will no longer be frequenting your university. We don't like them cookies anyways because they stick to the roof of your mouth. We perfer Pringle's, expecially the new chipotle flavored ones. Anyhoo, until you fire Mr. Myers we will be boycotting all your classes and not spending another of our hardearned dimes in your bookstores. And I was going to buy me a puzzle book there for my 40th birthday!!!!
If you have a spare five minutes, write a short note to the University President at:
President Robert H. Bruininks

202 Morrill Hall

100 Church Street S.E.

University of Minnesota

Minneapolis, MN 55455
Please spellcheck, proofread, be polite, and rational.

The purpose of communion, any communion, is for people to feel a unity with each other - not the food, no matter how magic or McDonaldsy it is.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Christers Boycott McDonalds

McDonalds boycott

Cracker Donald Wildmon's American Family Association, of Tupelo, Mississippi is spearheading a boycott of McDonalds. Why? Because they've contributed $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

You can leave a comment, but first, peruse a few of the other comments to assess the timbre of the arguments.
Oh, how my heart is breaking for your decision to support that which the Lord God frowns on.

Our family will also discontinue picking up breakfast at McDonalds on the way to church!

We will no longer visit the ole' McD's. Ronald McDonald must be turning over in his grave.

Until you shift into neutral, I'm staying in reverse to McDonalds and going forward to other places that support good Christian and moral values.

I'm sorry McDonalds has taken this position. It will be very inconvenient for my wife and I to find another place to eat in the very short time we have between daily Mass and choir practice on Wednesday evenings, but we will have to do so.

I read all of the comments below & that is positively my sediment!!

McDonald I am a regular customer in your store but I will not be eating in your store any more because of your open support of gay. I am a christianand God says they are an Abolition and God will deal with them.

It is truly a sad day in this country when a megacorporatin that has made its living on the backs of American families turns against the family by supporting a deviant and destructive lifestyle.

McDonalds no more! You want to support those who choose to abominate our Lord, You will not see me at McDonalds again until you reconsider your position and even then I don't think I'll come back as I still don't trust Ford either.

I wanted to leave a comment, but there is no way to type a comment in.

One of my earliest memories is stopping by McDonalds for hamburgers and french fries with my family. How unfortunate that I will be unable to continue that custom with my grandchildren.

America is sick and on life support. All it takes for evil to previl is for good men and women to do nothing. While we have been doing nothing, the radicals have been busy. Not it's McDonalds. I've spent my last dollar at McDonalds. Everyone needs to email all of their friends so that the impact is something that McDonalds will feel.

You risk losing lots of business. God and I hate sin. We both LOVE homosexuals- but hate their sin.

If McDonalds was a sponser for the Gay Pride Parade, which is simply full of sexual deviation, I am sure they are cheerleaders for the "Sisters of Perpetual Motion" that did their best to make a mockery, by dressing in drag and attending service at a Catholic church. This is a disgrace.
What's amazing is the number of families that eat at McDonalds daily, or every other day. Shouldn't traditional families get together for traditional famiy meals - a meal cooked at home - and enjoyed at a shared table, with family conversation? What kind of traditional families do these people have that eat so many times a week at McDonalds?

These people talk about spending thousands of dollars a YEAR at McDonalds, and way too many try to tart up their protests by claiming to "dine" at McDonalds.


Huffington Post: McDonalds Makes Jesus Cry, by Chris Kelly

Death Cookie Held Hostage

consecrated host
Webster Cook, a student at the University of Central Florida, returned the kidnapped body of Christ under as armed UDF police officers stood guard. The police were there to protect the body of Christ from any further shenanigans.

Cook had smuggled a communion wafer out of a June 29 service.

Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese said, "It is hurtful. Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."

Yes, just imagine.

I don't suppose the church considered asking Cook for proof of life.

Bill Donohue weighs in: Florida Student Abuses Eucharist

From the Catholics: Webster F. Cook: ...a thief and his excuses..., Cook's written statement, and a call for paddling It's A Goddamned Cracker!