Today in Ridiculous

Oh God, i LOVE it! Thanks, Unreasonable Faith

Filed under GMAFB:
Healthcare provision seeks to embrace prayer treatments
A little-noticed measure would put Christian Science healing sessions on the same footing as clinical medicine. Critics say it violates the separation of church and state.

A faith-based prison is pushed
The privately run lockup would have only Christians on its staff.

Watch Out! It's Scarey Black Obama!

The cover depicts two tow-headed white children watching a sinister black man, Barack Obama, on television. Can you say RACISM? Written by Christian mother Kaelyn Hart, Day of Perdition: We Almost Stopped Him, is a fictional work about Obama, peppered throughout with newspaper snippits and quotes.

Then on to the subject of Barack Obama: his voting record, vision for the future, his heritage, the smear campaign aka inconvenient truths regarding the questions the American people have asked on his Muslim, socialism and black liberation theology ties. Those "pesky" friends that keep popping up, his character, his attempts to silence the critics, the eerie similarities to Adolf Hitler, his spirituality, the adoration from celebrities, media and the world and the phenomenon of his "messiah-like" qualities.

Read the entire press release for a glimpse into the dark heart of Christian paranoia.

- ChristianNewsWire.com | Day of Perdition: We Almost Stopped Him... New Book on Barack Obama
- Free download | Day of Perdition

This Week in Christian Crime

- Today's THV | Pine Bluff Pastor Faces Charges In Rape Of Stepdaughter
- MyFOX Austin | Former Round Rock Pastor Gets 5 Years for Stealing Money
- Record-Searchlight | Deputies arrest ex-pastor
- ReligionNewsBlog | Pastor Arrested With Miracle Machine
"'When [he] touches his flock, they fall down [thinking] he is using super natural powers,' Mr Asan Kasingye said. 'The machine is placed on any part of the body and gives a pleasant electric shock to whoever touches you.'"
- ExChristian.net | Youth pastor arrested on sex charges
- Reuters | Texas pastor arrested for dragging girl at camp

7 Reason Why Barack Obama Is Not A Christian

Let's Let a White Man Speak for Once


The Christian Anti-Defamation Commission has released seven signs that Obama is not a Christian. (Note that being against abortion and homosexuality is now officially required as a prerequisite for being a Christian.)

7 Reason (sic) Why Barack Obama Is Not A Christian
"By declaring he is a Christian, yet denying Christianities (sic) most essential truths and traditional morality, Obama is associating Christ with some of the most wicked practices imaginable, all of which are condemned in the Bible."

1. Obama Believes There Are Many Paths to Heaven.


2. Obama Denies the Authority of the Bible.


3. Obama Supports Homosexuality.


4. Obama Supports Abortion.


5. Obama Affirms Muslim Prayer.


6. Obama is Associated with Black Liberation Theology.


7. Obama Has No Bona Fide Christian Tesitimony (sic).

Gary Cass is the Founder, President and C.E.O. of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission. He previously served as an executive at the Center for Reclaiming American for Christ (defunct?), under the auspices of Coral Ridge Ministries. Cass chose Lou Sheldon and Donald Wildmon, among others, to serve on the CADC Advisory Board.

Cass is a pretty accessible guy. On his home page he writes,

Know someone in the market to buy or lease our home?

Check with Sarah Palin, Gary. She might want to start keeping an eye on Cuba.

Sources
- Christian Anti-Defamation Commission

Jeez. Don't Mess With Colorado

Drunken Colorado resident and self-proclaimed atheist, Russell Bowman, expected little resistance when he threatened to behead two women because they were Christians. That is, until a nearby resident struck Bowman in the face with the butt of his shotgun. Bowman is expected to lose an eye and will probably be charged with felony menacing.

Don't mess with the gays, either!
According to the Denver Post, Nima Daivari was wearing "tight, white jeans, snakeskin shoes," and a fairy on a chain around his neck when a man called him a faggot and attacked him. Daivari, trained in boxing, grabbed his assailant and held him in a headlock until police arrived. The police let the assailant go.

Daivari sued but lost his case because, according to the Denver Post, "a gay man, has no constitutional right to require an arrest."

- Colorado Springs Gazette | Man who threatened to behead women will lose his eye, police say
- Denver Post | Gay attack swept under the shrug

In Other News

- Chicago Tribune | Priest at Univ. of Illinois charged with dealing cocaine from church office and rectory

- New York Post | Hasid Lust Cause Culture Clash Over Sexy Cyclists

- MSNBC | Central Fla. Neighborhoods Jumping With Frogs
"I told them we should get on our knees and pray, because I think it is a plague. I do," one resident said.

- GuardianUK | Teachers should tackle creationism, says science education expert
"Just because something lacks scientific support doesn't seem to me a sufficient reason to omit it from the science lesson," said Rev Prof Michael Reiss. [Rev Prof?]

Imprecatory Prayer Against Obama Offered By Dobson's Buttboy

Even cracker James Dobson must have thought Stuart Shepard went too far because the video commentary, Pray for Rain, was ripped from the website CitizenLink sometime this week. All you'll find now is "file not found." But the page is cached at Google. The copy reads,

Stuart Shepard is looking for people who will pray for rain -- on a certain day, at a certain time, in a certain location.

The location is the Democratic National Convention in Denver, CO, and the certain time is when Obama gives his speech at the end of the Convention.

Shepard prays for

...abundant rain, torrential rain... flood-advisory rain. I'm talking about umbrella-ain't-gonna-help-you rain... swamp-the-intersections rain.

Because Jesus is his bitch, see? That's what he thinks of the man who supposedly died to save him from his sins.

- The Carpetbagger Report | How about praying for a brain instead?

Fred Phelps Misses Autograph Signing

Fascist pastor Fred Phelps must have been wondering how he could leverage his appearance at the Winnipeg premiere of a parody theater piece about his life when he got the bright idea to protest the funeral of the guy who got his head cut off on the bus.

Last month Tim McLean, 22, was stabbed to death on a Greyhound bus by Vince Weiguang Li, a recent immigrant to Canada.

Fred Phelps and members of his Westboro church had threatened to picket the funeral claiming that McLean's death was God's vengeance for Canada turning a blind eye to homosexuality, abortion and adultery.

Chances are Fred Phelps was just going to be in the neighborhood, "protesting" Alister Newton's premiere of The Pastor Phelps Project: a fundamentalist cabaret.

Phelps and his clan were turned away at the Canadian border.

The ever lovely Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of Fred, told reporters,

They won't let us in, but we have a group that will cross in another spot. They'll have to strip search everyone who crosses that border or they won't know who we are. They'll have to see the WBC (Westboro Baptist Church) tattoo on our butts.

Eww!

- National Post | Controversial U.S. church group stopped at border
- Canada.com | McLean laid to rest in Winnipeg
- Facebook | The Pastor Phelps Project: a fundamentalist cabaret

But I'm a CHRISTIAN!!!!!

Brenda Bouschet, of Lake Worth, FL, thought it would be fun for her four-year-old granddaughter to ride on the roof of her car, so she and her aunt allowed it, holding onto the child's legs as they drove slowly into a parking lot.

Panic ensued, and several passersby, including a fireman, called the police, who tossed Bouschet into jail overnight. She was charged with felony child abuse. Bouschet complained,

I've never been in trouble. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I'm a good person. I'm a Christian.

- Sun-Sentinel.com | Grandmother who drove with girl atop car protests her arrest

Marriage: One Man, One Woman, At a Time

It's the job of California Attorney General Jerry Brown to name ballot propositions and the one he's picked for Proposition 8, which would alter the California State Constitution to ban same sex marriage, is accurate, though controversial.

Many in favor of Proposition 8 think it should be titled,

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognzed in California

while Jerry Brown titled the measure,

Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.

The latter reflects the language of the court ruling legalizing gay marriage in California. Gays have the right to marry and this measure, if passed, would eliminate that.

Proponents of Proposition 8 fell that the word "eliminates" is prejudicial. It seems they don't want voters to know they'll be voting against the right of members of the same sex to marry.

It's ridiculous that the California constitution can be changed by a majority on a ballot measure. The California constitution is not a screenplay. We don't need everyone's "notes." It should not be altered to reflect the whims of American mullahs.

- Even the Naming of Proposition 8 is Controversial

She-Pastor Assaults Air Hostess

Victoria Osteen, leggy blonde and wife of pastor and author Joel Osteen, is being sued by Sharon Brown, a flight attendant, who claims Osteen assaulted her. After an altercation with Brown, Osteen and her family voluntarily left the plane, or were asked to leave, according to FBI Special Agent Luz Garcia. The FAA fined Osteen $3000 for interfering with a crew member during a flight.

Joel and Victoria Osteen are both pastors of Lakewood Church in Houston. Joel Osteen writes book on having a better life. Victoria's new book, Love Your Life, will help you,

Embrace joy and live your life to the fullest! From the co-pastor of Lakewood Church and wife of best-selling author Joel Osteen comes a simple plan to help busy women reach their full potential. Learn to manage the pressures of the modern world, understand your awesome responsibilities, make beautiful choices, and achieve true happiness.

Otherwise she'll fuck you up.

- FOXNews.com | Flight Attendant Sues Wife of Evangelist Joel Osteen Over Alleged Air-Rage Incident
- Landover Baptist | Victoria Osteen Tells All to a Landover Lady

Not So Set Free Soldiers

According to the LA Times, members of a Christian biker gang have run afoul of the law, by allegedly attacking members of the Hell's Angels.

Officers arrested eight members of an Anaheim biker gang and charged them with attempted murder this morning as part of an ongoing operation, authorities said.

The charges stem from a fight last week at a Newport Beach bar between two biker gangs, said Anaheim police Sgt. Tim Schmidt. The group arrested this morning are members of a Christian biker gang named Set Free Soldiers, and the victims are members of the Hells Angels, Schmidt said.

The operation, which included SWAT teams, began about 5 a.m. today, Schmidt said. No injuries were reported, Schmidt said, adding that officers served 11 warrants, all on attempted murder charges.

Other than photos, videos, and merchandise, there is little on the Set Free Soldiers website. The only copy reads,

This is the official site for Set Free Worldwide Ministires!!!!! I am Pastor Phil, aka Dr. Phil, aka The Chief who pioneered, Set Free Church's Worldwide, and also pioneered the Los Angeles International Church and Dream Center along with Pastor Tommy Barnett, and his son Matthew. I have been a consulant for the SBC [Southern Baptist something or other], and have served time on the board for TBN [Trinity Broadcasting Network], and consider myself to be one of the most fortunate individuals on the planet. I have a wonderful wife, beautiful children, grandchildren and get to ride my Harley with the Set Free Soldier's Motorcycle Crew. We welcome all who would like to be part of our team to enroll in our Set Free Home Study University, or our Set Free Soldiers Motorcycle Ministry. We sell Soldiermade clothing to represent as a street soldier for the Lord, and we have videos, and hip hop, worship CD's for purchase also.

According to the LA Times, Phil Aguilar, the leader of Set Free Soldiers, was taken into custody and is being held on $1 million bail.

- Thanks, Dan Savage, of The Slog
- LA Times | Christian biker gang members charged with attempted murder
- Set Free Soldiers Worldwide
- Set Free Soldiers