Absorb God's Abundance

ShamWow! Prayer Cloth - Holds 12 Times Its Weight In Blessings!

- SacredSandwich.com | ShamWow! Prayer Cloth

Get Rich Quick... Eventually!

How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind, by Steve and Evie Levy, if those ARE their real names, promises to be rollicking good fun.

From the product description:

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.

And that means one thing: investment opportunities!

Thanks, J-Walk Blog

Rick Warren? C'mon Obama!

From Christopher Hitchens on Rick Warren.

As Barack Obama is gradually learning, his job is to be the president of all Americans at all times. If he likes, he can oppose the idea of marriage for Americans who are homosexual. That's a policy question on which people may and will disagree. However, the man he has chosen to deliver his inaugural invocation is a relentless clerical businessman who raises money on the proposition that certain Americans - non-Christians, the wrong kind of Christians, homosexuals, nonbelievers - are of less worth and littler virtue than his own lovely flock of redeemed and salvaged and paid-up donors.

This quite simply cannot stand.... A president may by all means use his office to gain re-election, to shore up his existing base, or to attract a new one. But the day of his inauguration is not one of the days on which he should be doing that. It is an event that belongs principally to the voters and to their descendants, who are called to see that a long tradition of peaceful transition is cheerfully upheld, even in those years when the outcome is disputed. I would myself say that it doesn't need a clerical invocation at all, since, to borrow Lincoln's observation about Gettysburg, it has already been consecrated. But if we must have an officiating priest, let it be some dignified old hypocrite with no factional allegiance and not a tree-shaking huckster and publicity seeker who believes that millions of his fellow citizens are hellbound because they do not meet his own low and vulgar standards.

- Thanks, Dan | Christopher Hitchens on Rick Warren

Kontriving a Konnection with Khrist

Planning any New Year's resolutions?

Christians often decide to read the Bible through during the New Year... What if God provided a tool to encourage you to read his Word daily and remember what you read?

Or, if instead of God, Dolores Marie Patterson wrote a book called My Daily S.O.A.K.: A Personal Journey through the New Testament One Day and One Chapter at a Time? [Note: She is not God.]

My Daily S.O.A.K. is a devotional journal designed to take the reader through the New Testament in one year, one chapter and one day at a time. S.O.A.K. is an acronym. Each chapter of the book assigns the reader a chapter from the New Testament; a Scripture bite, which is a scripture from another part of the Bible; an Observation, which is a thought to ponder; an Application, which is an opportunity for questions and answers, and a Konnection, or short prayer.

A "Konnection" is a "short Prayer"? Then why not make it S.O.A.P.? Why force "connection" to be spelled with a "k"? Indeed, Khristians, like their kreator, move in mysterious ways.

- ChristianNewsWire.com | My Daily S.O.A.K. -- A Personal Journey Through the New Testament

Christian Fashion Model Crafts Dolls in Black and White

Girls and Grace is a line of dolls and other products made for Christian girls. I have featured them here before, but they now have a new doll, one with "dark skin and brown eyes," named Mesi (pronounced Maycee). She's from somewhere in Africa. (I have a friend from Africa. I'll have to ask if he knows her.) According to the copy, "Mesi's education and her family's well-being are threatened by drought, disease, and war."

When girls can role-play the stories with their very own Sydney Claire or Mesi doll, the seeds of grace are planted in their tender hearts. Those squeals of delight that every parent loves to hear on Christmas morning will signal the start of countless hours of grace-filled playtime.

What are the stories? Here's Mesi's:

...a feud breaks out between Mesi's Ashanti tribe and their neighbors, the Kienese. As tensions mount, Mesi discovers a friendship she must keep secret. But she must decide what cost she is willing to pay in order to keep the secret--and protect her friend. Will she lose her best friend Kwasi? Anger her family? Or even bring destruction to her entire village?

So, squeals of delight? Contrast this with the drama the Sydney Claire Wilcox (the III?) doll, with her "blonde hair and blue eyes," skips through:

[Sydney is] an industrious ten-year-old living in the midst of the historic women's liberation, civil rights, and environmental movements. When she finds herself feeling lonely in the summer of 1965, she determines to do something about it. With her best friends, Vicky and Ann, Sydney Claire sets off on a series of money-making enterprises in order to purchase her heart's desire: Trouble, a fun-loving Golden Retriever.

People, there you have the Chistian imagination in black and white.

- Previously at Adult Christianity | Christian Fashion Model Launches Anti-Gay, Anti-Abortion Doll Line

Arthur Blessitt | As the World Turns

Evangelist Arthur Blessitt, wants to put a cross in space, orbiting the earth, and needs your help.

After launch we can tell you on our site when it will be over you and your nation. We have carried the cross in Every nation. Now we will, God willing have it flying above Every nation! We wave the cross in the face of Satan and proclaim that Jesus is Lord over All the Earth. All glory to God.

The earth is already surrounded by an extensive debris field consisting of "...spent booster stages, nuts and bolts from ISS construction, various accidental discards such as spacesuit gloves and cameras, and fragments from exploded spacecraft..."

Do we need more junk in space? I know I shouldn't call the cross junk, but c'mon - if you won't be able to see it from earth, if it's really just about the idea of a cross orbiting around the earth, then send up a really tiny one, or better yet, send up the idea of one with your mind, See, I just sent one!



Why does this make me think of the movie The Loved One?

Blessit claims to be the man who led George W. Bush to Christ, though everyone knows the President came to Christ through the ministrations of Rev. E. Dwayne Looper.

There's a new movie on Blessitt's life, imaginatively named The Cross Movie which will be released next March 27th. I wonder what the production name was. The movie was produced by Gener8Xion Entertainment, Inc. who also produced One Night with the King, the story of how the humble Esther was turned out by God to save her people. Gener8Xion Entertainment, Inc. is headed by Matthew Crouch, son of hair hoppers Paul and Jan Crouch.

- MissPoppy.com | Pimp My Bride, Miss Poppy reviews "One Night with the King."

UK Churches Advertising Network Hits One Out of the Park

Each year the Churches Advertising Network, or CAN, releases an Xmas poster. Past years have been particularly cheesy, like the Baby Jesus dressed up in a Santa suit. This year's is gorgeous, in sedate blues illuminated with gilt halos for the Holy Family. The manger is a bus shelter, which is today's logical equivalent of a manger.

This ad places the birth of Jesus in the environment written of in the Bible - in teeming poverty. The image is not sentimental, but humbling of God, recalling Joan Osborne's lyrics, "What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus?"

CAN describes the poster.

The painting is by Royal Academy Gold medal winner, Andrew Gadd. The oil painting is on canvas and depicts the holy family, with halos, in a dark bus shelter. The shepherds and wise men are replaced with fellow passengers waiting for a bus. Some are watching the nativity intently; others appear oblivious and are checking the bus timetable and flagging down a bus.

Francis Goodwin, the Chair of CAN, says: "We are very used to the Renaissance image of the Nativity. But what would it look like if it happened today? Where would it take place? We want to challenge people to make them reassess what the birth of Jesus means to them. By using a powerful and contemporary piece of art, from a world renowned painter, we can create an enduring image for our own times."

If only this was what Christianity was about. Jesus would not recognize his image today, and we would not - do not - recognize him.

- Churches Advertising Network | 2008 Nativity Poster

Classic Pro Life Bologna and Cheese

This classic sandwich is made of heart-healthy turkey bologna, good old-fashioned American cheese, classic white bread and is garnished with cocktail olives. This should get your finicky cannibals eating!

Get your own pro laugh fetus cookie cutter at MissPoppy.com.

- MissPoppy.com | Pro Laugh Fetus Cookie Cutter

Like White on Rice | Forced Abortion Fiction

Republican Congressmen Joe Pitts and Chris Smith

Last Tuesday Republican Congressmen Joe Pitts and Chris Smith issued a news release regarding Arzigul Tursun, an Uyghur Chinese woman rescued in the nick of time by their efforts from the forced abortion of her third child by Chinese authorities.

Excuse me for being skeptical.

First, Arzigul Tursun is the name of "one of the leading Uyghur pop musicians from Kashgar, Xinjiang." You can watch the video from her latest album, Gulyarla, on the YouTube.



Second, we've been down this road before. In 1995 Representative Chris Smith testified before Congress.

Not only do these human rights problems get worse every single month that we continue to truckle to China, but they keep discovering new horrors. ...there are even some credible reports that late-term unborn children are actually being consumed as a new health food.

At the time Congressman Chris Smith was Co-Chairman of the House Pro-Life Caucus.

The rumors of the Chinese eating fetuses coincided with the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women, held in Beijing. Rev. Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family, bought the story writing in his August 1995 newsletter,

If [capital punishment] isn't enough to turn one's stomach, consider this: According to World... human fetuses have begun to appear on menus of Chinese restaurants as a delicacy and health tonic.

The source for the Chinese fetus eating story was a piece written by Bruce Gilley for a defunct Chinese tabloid, Eastern Express. I researched and discredited the story in Eating Fetuses: The lurid Christian fantasy of godless Chinese eating "unborn children".

The sensational story of Arzigul Tarsun shares many of the same elements of the Chinese fetus eating story. Though at least one report lists its source as the AP, searches at the AP site yield no results. The only other source is a Radio Free Asia report.

According to Wikipedia, Radio Free Asia "is a private radio station funded by the United States Congress that broadcasts in nine Asian languages." Radio Free Asia is Representative Chris Smith's baby, so to speak. According to a report on Smith's site, he "authored the law to authorize Radio Free Asia to broadcast 24 hours daily." Criticism of Radio Free Asia includes the following, from Wikipedia.

Catharin Dalpino of the Brookings Institution, who served in the Clinton State Department as a deputy assistant secretary deputy for human rights, has called Radio Free Asia "a waste of money." "Wherever we feel there is an ideological enemy, we're going to have a Radio Free Something," she says. Dalpino said she has reviewed scripts of Radio Free Asia's broadcasts and views the station's reporting as unbalanced. "They lean very heavily on reports by and about dissidents in exile. It doesn't sound like reporting about what's going in a country. Often, it reads like a textbook on democracy, which is fine, but even to an American it's rather propagandistic."

Christian conservatives are swallowing the Chinese forced abortion story in the same way they swallowed the Chinese fetus eating story - whole. The Family Research Council, World Magazine, The Christian Post, and a host of others have reprinted the story.

In 1995 Chris Smith and his anti-abortion minions were going after the gals getting together in China, for the Fourth World Conference on Women. Today they're going after UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund. According to its site, UNFPA is

an international development agency that promotes the right of every woman, man and child to enjoy a life of health and equal opportunity. UNFPA supports countries in using population data for policies and programmes to reduce poverty and to ensure that every pregnancy is wanted, every birth is safe, every young person is free of HIV/AIDS, and every girl and woman is treated with dignity and respect.

The Bush administration withheld funds from UNPFA and in 2003 diverted $34 million from China due to claims of forced abortions. Greg Barnes, of Australia's Mercury wrote,

Bush justified his cruel decision on the fact that China would use the funds for coercive abortion and forced sterilization, despite his own fact-finding mission turning up no evidence that the UN had ever participated in such programs.

The Bush administration had withheld funds from any organization that counseled abortion as an alternative to women. The Washington Post recently reported that,

The new president is also expected to lift a so-called global gag rule barring international family planning groups that receive U.S. aid from counseling women about the availability of abortion, even in countries where the procedure is legal, said Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America. When Bill Clinton took office in 1993, he rescinded the Reagan-era regulation, known as the Mexico City policy, but Bush reimposed it.

UNFPA and Arzigul Tursun seem made for each other. The Family Research Council alerted its subscribers last week in its sensational post, Reinstating UNFPA -- Over China's Dead Bodies

Newspapers from cities as far away as Melbourne, Australia are anxiously awaiting word on a Uyghur woman in China, six months pregnant with her third child. According to local reports, government officials tracked Arzigul Tursun down in her village and escorted her to a hospital where authorities ordered her to abort the baby against her will. Although guards had been stationed at the hospital, Arzigul managed to escape. After the police interrogated her family, the mother-to-be was recaptured yesterday in the home of some relatives. Her plight has sparked outrage in the international community, which is demanding her release.

In the past, the U.S. government -- at President Bush's insistence -- has withheld funding from groups like the U.N. Population Fund (UNFPA) for its supporting role in these coercive abortion policies. President-elect Obama has said he will restore U.S. funding to UNFPA. America will no longer be an innocent bystander of tragedies like this one. Instead, the U.S. will be knowingly funding forced abortions like Arzigul's with millions of taxpayer dollars. In an interview with the Obama campaign before the election, RH Reality check asked, "If elected President, would Sen. Obama, overturn the Global Gag Rule or reinstate funding for UNFPA?" A spokesman for the campaign responded, "Yes, Senator Obama would overturn the global gag rule and reinstate funding for UNFPA."

The new administration plans to funnel millions of dollars to UNFPA despite its support of China's savage one-child policy. Contact your leaders and tell them that terrorizing pregnant women is not the "change" America voted for. Urge them to oppose Obama's anti-woman agenda.

What better way to engender sympathy for an issue than to give it a human face - especially one that cannot be verified. Make it a face from a Kazakhstani border town, add an arrest and a dramatic escape, a government hunt and two courageous, old, white congressmen saving the day. Parts of the story might be true, but chances are we'll never hear of Arzigul Tursun again, unless she releases another single on YouTube.

Florida Catholics Peeved Over Upscale Baby Shirt

A Catholic woman in Florida complained about a baby shirt on sale at Nordstrom's. The shirt was fashioned after a depiction of the Madonna and Christ child, but the Madonna had been replaced with a winged skeleton.

Nazis were referenced in the woman's complaint.

As a Catholic and a Christian, it was offensive all the way around. We consider her holy. If you were Jewish, you wouldn't want to see a swastika on a shirt. If you were African-American, you wouldn't want to see anything that was derogatory towards you.

Nordstrom pulled all the shirts from the shelves.

- Florida News-Press | 'Baby Jesus' T-shirts pulled from Nordstrom stores, including Naples

What If Starbucks Marketed Like a Church?

Pretty funny. Will they get it? I doubt it.

Thanks, Blingdom of God | What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church? A Parable.

Atheists Attack Christmas AGAIN!

The American Humanist Association is at it again, putting up posters on buses that read,

Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake.

The Right Reverend Bishop Council Nedd II, the chairman of In God We Trust, was quick to respond.

These ads are a deliberate attack on American traditions, beliefs and customs by a United Nation's affiliated group that espouses a radical anti-American agenda and is funded by a zealot who believes that the U.S. is a backwards nation full of imbeciles.

That's right. Christians are not backwards nor are they imbeciles.

- American Humanist Association
- In God We Trust
- ChristianNewsWire.com | UN Affiliated Atheist Group Launches Ad Campaign Targeting God and Christmas

Jesus is Impressed

Ah, poor Jesus.

- The Jesus Pan
- Crosswalk.com | Godly or Gaudy?

Hey, Let's Dig Here!

For all of you who worry that your deceased loved one will be passed over by Christian youth seeking a corpse to toy with (see references below), consider buying one of these solar lighted graveside accompaniments. They come in the shape of a crucifix, an angel, or a Bible - perpetually turned to the 23rd Psalm. The Solar Bible is only $39.95.

- Earlier post | Christian brothers dig up corpse to date
- Earlier post | Homeschooled boys dig up corpse to make bong

Fresh Out of Texas - The Ear Bible

Order now, for Christmas - the Ear Bible, "because faith comes by hearing."

Our lives are busy. Cooking, cleaning, commuting, and many other tasks consume much of our time. The Ear Bible was invented to convert these daily routines into time for becoming better acquainted with the Bible. Just 25 minutes of listening per day will take a person through the entire Bible twice in one year!

Faith, in this case comes at $149.95, plus $14.95 for the charger.

- Ear Bible

It Can Happen To Anybody

It could happen to you!

Texas Chainsaw Celibacy

The SRT celibacy chainsaw killer at the St. Augustine, FL event

Literarly sixes and sixes, or "dozens," of young women and men took a pledge for celibacy last weekend in Virginia. One wore a wedding gown and accepted a silver wedding band saying, "We're getting married to Jesus today. It's a covenant with Jesus today that we will remain pure and holy until we get married."

The Virginian-Pilot reported on another enthusiastic participant,

"Hallelujah!" yelled Shereen Osbourne, a 26-year-old hair stylist who asked her four children to slip the celibacy band on her finger. "I thank you, Lord, you're so good to me, Jesus."

This version of a celibacy ring is being marketed by The Silver Ring Thing, the name of the company probably brainstormed by the same people who brought us Veggie Tales | The Priates Who Don't Do Anything.

The Silver Ring Thing is a celibacy franchise which hawks events, a curriculum, a line of licensed products, and of course, a silver celibacy ring - for those who have attended a qualifying event or slogged through the curriculum.

The program also presents an evangelistic message focused on forgiveness and new beginnings with an opportunity to embrace a "second virginity." Students who make a commitment to abstinence may purchase a silver ring as a symbol and reminder of their decision.

The photo above is from The Silver Ring Thing's St. Augustine, Florida event. Don't ask me why a celibacy franchise would employ a chain-saw weilding serial killer. I don't get the chainsaw, but I don't get the celibacy obsession, either.

- Dozens gather to take vow of abstinence before marriage
- The Silver Ring Thing

The Joy of Tracts and Pamphlets

Lisa Anne Auerbach's "Manifestoes in miniature" was published in the LA Times Book Review section yesterday. She's discovered the joy of Bible tracts and specifically of the Free Tract Society, on York, in Los Angeles. Go there, and you'll get your pick of a half pound of Bible tracts, free.

The Free Tract Society, Interdenominational
6012 York Boulevard
Los Angeles CA 90042

Phone: 323-254-8303

Hours
Tuesday through Saturday
10:30am to 5:00pm
Closed Sunday, Monday & Holidays

Auerbach started her own tract society, The Tract House, starting off with a respectable 62 tracts offering

a collection of concerns, solutions,stories, tactics, rule[s], and questions on subjects ranging from heirloom vegetables to capitalist pigs. Susan Lutz's short story about Sunday dinner aims to persuade readers to get together once a week with friends and family for a meal

The tracts may be downloaded and printed free from Tracthouse.

Pirates - Maybe Not the Best Role Models for Christians

Sure, we all love pirates, but as far as role models go, most of us have problems with the raping and pillaging. So how do good Christians repurpose pirates for the sake of the children?

It had to be a committee, because one single Christian mind could not have come up with this brilliant solution: Veggie Tales | The Priates Who Don't Do Anything.

For pirates who don't do anything, there's an awful lot of merchandising. There's a movie and a vacation bible school curriculum and an outreach campaign kit. There's a soundtrack, a fan club, a Jonah Pirate Ship Playset, a web site, and SO much more.

The meaning of the title is a little fuzzy, but it has to do with the vegetables being lazy. The message is that they should stay in school so they can be better pirates. That anyone of any size or shape can be a hero for Jesus seems to be the secondary theme.

Will that do? Because I really don't want to watch this movie.

One Lucky Teen Will Win An AR-15 Semiautomatic Assault Rifle

Teens compete in last year's shooting competition

The Windsor Hills Baptist Church of Oklahoma City, OK is so hip and happenin' that its fresh, cutting edge design crafted to inspire teens to attend the 2008 Youth Conference centers on vignettes of four old white guys and a silver anniversary theme, all fitting for a bank in the 1960s. (Wouldn't sepia tones have been phatt3r?)


But wait! If that doesn't bring the kids in droves, their AR-15 Giveaway give away should.

That's right - a semiautomatic assault rifle will be given away to one lucky teenager!

Even though the commie pinko KOCO Oklahoma City News announced that the gun giveaway was cancelled, it looks like the church might be going ahead with it.

Bob Ross, the portly, grey-haired youth director with the George Hamilton tan was quoted,

I don't want people thinking 'My goodness, we're putting a weapon in the hand of somebody that doesn't respect it who are then going to go out and kill, That’s not at all what we're trying to do.

There are plenty of other youth activities besides the gun giveaway:

Preacher Boys' Competitions, Boys' Basketball, Girls' Volleyball, Chunch Revival, Two Dramatic Plays, The Youth Workers' Choir, The North/South School of the Prophets, Preacher Kids' Conference, Soulwinning Blitz, Ladies' Banquet, Men's Day at the Camp with Swimming, Mud Games, and More!, Big Country Cookout, Hilarious Skits, Game Rooms, Red HOT preaching, Ice Skating, and MUCH more!

Rumors that the gun giveaway was canceled seem to be exaggerated, as a statement on the WHBC website quietly claims the event is on again:

Although the shooting competition that was to take place during the Youth Conference had been canceled, due to false statements* made by the Oklahoma City TV Channel 5 (KOCO) and subsequently reported also by media outlets across the country, an AR-15 was donated last Saturday so that the competition could go on as planned.

If Congress, back when our country was fighting for its independence could give engraved muskets to the fifteen or so eleven year old boys that their teacher, Mr. Akins, led into battle against the British, then we can give away a firearm still today, especially since our Supreme Court just re-emphasized our Second Amendment rights.

*False statements: 1) That a gun had been purchased for $800; 2) That the local TV channel intervened to keep us from giving away an AR-15.

I don't know. Which do you think is worse, giving an assault rifle to a teenager or giving away a baby?

One of last year's themes was "Is It In You?" (That's what SHE said!)

---

Watch the video from last year's event Eww! Check out the ice skating party - all the girls are wearing FDLS-style calf-length skirts - one in desert camo fabric!