Christian pop culture through the eyes of a radical housewife and part time atheist, Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon. Online since 1995. Stop by every day for the latest in Christian crime, intimidation, fraud, and foolishness.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh, Ann Barnett! What NOT to Wear!

ann barnett county clerk kern county

I usually avoid getting personal, especially with women, who take enough abuse for their looks, both "well meaning" and vicious, but in some cases I can't help myself. These case include women who are as mindlessly nasty as Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett, and women whose fashion sense is as woefully dreadful as hers.

Ann Barnett is in charge of Kern County weddings and is refusing marriages to anyone, now that gays are allowed to marry. She claims logistics, but has contacted James Dobson's Christian Alliance Defense Fund to represent her should anyone sue.

I've seen a couple of pictures of Ann Barnett - one in a salmon colored suit, and this one, in a pine green suit. Both of these colors are adored by tourists and promulgated by shop girls still doing people's colors by the season. Supposedly these colors can be worn by all seasons, which explains why they're worn by so many of the fashion clueless. I agree with the equality of these colors: salmon, pine, magenta, and periwinkle, but for other reasons. They don't look good on anyone. Salmon should only be worn by the fish. And if you don't want to be mistaken for a pine tree, or a cell phone tower disguised as one, don't wear pine green.

Ann, here's my biggest fashion tip for you. Quit being so hateful. You know that queasy sick feeling you're getting in your stomach over all of this? That's your conscience telling you you're wrong. Your conscience is pitted against all the bullshit you've been taught about the Bible and God. This is your chance to listen to reason, to become a human being, and if you want to keep being religious - this is your change to segue to a kinder, gentler faith - one in which Jesus, in all his dirty, hairy sensuality would not be forbidden.

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