Christian pop culture through the eyes of a radical housewife and part time atheist, Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon. Online since 1995. Stop by every day for the latest in Christian crime, intimidation, fraud, and foolishness.

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Old-fashioned Christian Paranoia

Communists collect children to be re-educated

In honor of last night's passing of healthcare reform by the House of Representatives I offer you a very low resolution version of Ron Ormond's Christian cult classic, If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? now available on Google videos.

If you thought conservative religious paranoia was something new, this movie will assure you it has existed since Jesus wore short pants.

Minister Estus W. Pirkle, of Nashville, Tennessee, narrates.

In my favorite scene (18:49) communists taunt school children to pray to Jesus to bring them some candy. When that fails, glorious leader steps in and delivers the goods. Other scenes illustrate the dangers of sex education and sensitivity training (10.11), debauchery (12:30), Batman hubcaps (14:00), bullet throwing (18:21), work camps (21:00), bad beards (30:35), assault (32:00), christianity is stupid (34:00), lascivious lip licking (41:21), and Pirkle translating a grandmother's ramblings from beyond the grave (47:20).

Cheap special effects abound, beheadings (44:32), chopsticks in ears (23:40), and drunken communist menacings (24:50).

I love this movie and have tried for years to find a good copy, but this will do for now. Ron Ormond rocks.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Thank you SO MUCH for posting about If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? I watched it last night on Google video and I haven't stopped laughing yet. This is the most fucked up movie in existence.