More Jesus Sightings in the Heartland

"Cletus, git off'n me. Jesus is a'watchin'!"

In Arkansas City, Kansas
Jesus showed up at the One Stop Body Shoppe, a weight loss clinic for women. The manager of the clinic told reporters,

A client was laying here looking up and told me, Michelle, you have Jesus on your ceiling. I just kind of looked at her, and she said you do, Jesus on the ceiling.

A staff member added,

I think its the silhouette and kind of a partial beard. She said if it had leaked a little more it would be a beard on the other side too.

Out of the mouths of babes.

In Gulf Shores, Alabama
Two contractors found God in a drywall repair. Said Omar Craddock,

We were in here doing some work. I happened to be looking around and I seen something going on that I normally wouldn't see.

To his brother-in-law John Gissendanner,

Hey come look at this.

Omar told the crack news team at WKRG,

I'm not a religious man by any means, I mean, I believe in God and stuff like that but when I seen that, that's the first thing to come to my mind.

Stuff like that, indeed.

- KTLA.com | Jesus Appears on Ceiling
- WKRG.com | Jesus in the Drywall
- ArkCity.net | Health center for women fills visible location in downtown Arkansas City
Because "Ye Olde One Stop Body Shoppe" just would have been too snooty.