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Sunday, July 13, 2008

Who Will Help Me Consecrate My Crackers?

communion hosts
Carmelite Nuns Allowed to Make Communion Wafers

Catholics are up in arms over a University of Minnesota professor, P.Z. Myers, who has threatened vague desecrations of a communion host. The exchange has become quite heated with Catholic making death threats.

At first I agreed with the Catholics - Myers didn't have to go out of his way to purposely defile the Catholic ritual of communion. It's one thing to write about how ridiculous it is - another to actually ritually defile a cracker.

P.Z. Myers only threatened various abuses, but did not go into specifics. And, really, I'd bet he was kidding - that he has more important things to do than affix googly eyes to a host and put on a puppet show. The Catholic Church has a history of blowing things like this out of proportion, AND with meeting them with violence. They should be very careful about getting their members riled up.

Shortly after the Fourth Lateran Council in 1215 rumors of host desecration began circulating, especially that of Jews stealing consecrated hosts and crucifying them in a practice that came to be known as "host nailing."

In THE PURSUIT OF THE MILLENNIUM, by Norman Cohn writes,
For if from the point of view of a Jew an atrocity committed on the host would be meaningless, from the point of view of a medieval Christian it would be a repetition of the torturing and killing of Christ. ...this interpretation is born out by the many stories of how, in the middle of the tortured wafer, Christ appeared as a child, dripping blood and screaming.
In Christian Blood Lust and Its Manifestation in Vampyre Myth, I wrote about host nailing,
Between the years of 1243 and 1761 thousands of Jews were tortured and executed for the crime of host desecration. Most were burned, many were mutilated. In 1370 almost every Belgian Jew was massacred, man, woman and child, for the crime of host nailing.
In truth, I wouldn't have to go as far as P.Z. Myers promised - profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse. All I, as a woman, would have to do to defile a consecrated host is pray over the cracker, or try to serve the cracker to someone else. From the Catholic Encyclopedia:
Against these errors the Fourth Lateran Council (1215) confirmed the ancient Catholic teaching, that "no one but the priest [sacerdos], regularly ordained according to the keys of the Church, has the power of consecrating this sacrament".
And in case you had any questions after the reformation:
The Council of Trent opposed this teaching of Luther, and not only confirmed anew the existence of a "special priesthood" (Sess. XXIII, can. i), but authoritatively declared that "Christ ordained the Apostles true priests and commanded them as well as other priests to offer His Body and Blood in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass" (Sess. XXII, can. ii).
This is a religion for whom more than half the human race is a walking, talking abomination. Women, just by virtue of being alive, are unclean and inferior, need to be ritually separated from the community and cleansed, can't consecrate communion because they are so vile, and can't minister the gospel as a man does. The Catholic church treats women as cow like creatures too stupid to manage their own health issues. Don't think for a minute that this kind of foul doctrine doesn't bleed over into our culture 24/7.

So as far as I'm concerned, PZ Myers, you defile those crackers all you want - at least until the Catholic church stops holding women hostage to a crumbling old book written by a bunch of superstitious perverts.


The Carmelite Monastery: Making Altar Breads

Catholic EncyclopediaThe Blessed Eucharist as a Sacrament

Christian Blood Lust and Its Manifestation in Vampyre Myth

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Pastor Arrested, Snakes Confiscated



Gregory James Coots, 36, pastor of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name, was arrested, along with nine others, by Kentucky wildlife officers. The group was allegedly involved in the venomous snake trade.

Wildlife officers confiscated more than 100 snakes "...including 42 copperheads, 11 timber rattlesnakes, three cottonmouth water moccasins, a western diamondback rattlesnake, two cobras and a puff adder," according to an AP article.

In 1995 a woman died during one of Coots' church services after being bitten by a rattlesnake.

Pastor among suspects in illegal snake bust
YouTube.comHoly Ghost People, part 1 of 6

Friday, July 11, 2008

Jesus Appears in Bucket of Spumoni

spumoni jesus
Customers at Hatch's Family Chocolates in Salt Lake City, discovered Jesus in a bucket of spumoni. The company will be preserving the image.

Who CARES!

Bush is a Tard

idiocracy

Bush bid the other world leaders attending the G8 Summit in Tokyo adieu by saying, "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." According to Telegraph.co.uk,
He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.
Bush has now returned to 'batin'.



AP: Calif. group proposes George W. Bush Sewage Plant
NY Times: McCain Adviser Refers to 'Nation of Whiners'
Oh, No! Christie Brinkley's getting divorced!

Those Crazy Crackers

frackin cracker

PZ Myers is a biologist and associate profesor at the University of Minnesota. He also writes the science blog Pharyngula. I gave him a nod the other day for his post, It's A Frackin’ Cracker!, about the communion wafer "kidnapping".

While Googling himself Bill Donohue of the Catholic League discovered Myers' post and marshalled the full force of his furies against Myers for his blasphemy, urging his minions to email the university demanding Myers' ouster. Bill Donohue quotes himself in the press release:
It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ. We look to those who have oversight responsibility to act quickly and decisively.
With the McDonalds' protests still fresh in my mind I imagine the general tone of the emails to the University of Minnesota will go something a little something like this:
Because of your disrespect for the Cathlic death cookie I and my 6 children and 16 grandchildren will no longer be frequenting your university. We don't like them cookies anyways because they stick to the roof of your mouth. We perfer Pringle's, expecially the new chipotle flavored ones. Anyhoo, until you fire Mr. Myers we will be boycotting all your classes and not spending another of our hardearned dimes in your bookstores. And I was going to buy me a puzzle book there for my 40th birthday!!!!
If you have a spare five minutes, write a short note to the University President at:
President Robert H. Bruininks

202 Morrill Hall

100 Church Street S.E.

University of Minnesota

Minneapolis, MN 55455
Please spellcheck, proofread, be polite, and rational.

The purpose of communion, any communion, is for people to feel a unity with each other - not the food, no matter how magic or McDonaldsy it is.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Christers Boycott McDonalds

McDonalds boycott

Cracker Donald Wildmon's American Family Association, of Tupelo, Mississippi is spearheading a boycott of McDonalds. Why? Because they've contributed $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

You can leave a comment, but first, peruse a few of the other comments to assess the timbre of the arguments.
Oh, how my heart is breaking for your decision to support that which the Lord God frowns on.

Our family will also discontinue picking up breakfast at McDonalds on the way to church!

We will no longer visit the ole' McD's. Ronald McDonald must be turning over in his grave.

Until you shift into neutral, I'm staying in reverse to McDonalds and going forward to other places that support good Christian and moral values.

I'm sorry McDonalds has taken this position. It will be very inconvenient for my wife and I to find another place to eat in the very short time we have between daily Mass and choir practice on Wednesday evenings, but we will have to do so.

I read all of the comments below & that is positively my sediment!!

McDonald I am a regular customer in your store but I will not be eating in your store any more because of your open support of gay. I am a christianand God says they are an Abolition and God will deal with them.

It is truly a sad day in this country when a megacorporatin that has made its living on the backs of American families turns against the family by supporting a deviant and destructive lifestyle.

McDonalds no more! You want to support those who choose to abominate our Lord, You will not see me at McDonalds again until you reconsider your position and even then I don't think I'll come back as I still don't trust Ford either.

I wanted to leave a comment, but there is no way to type a comment in.

One of my earliest memories is stopping by McDonalds for hamburgers and french fries with my family. How unfortunate that I will be unable to continue that custom with my grandchildren.

America is sick and on life support. All it takes for evil to previl is for good men and women to do nothing. While we have been doing nothing, the radicals have been busy. Not it's McDonalds. I've spent my last dollar at McDonalds. Everyone needs to email all of their friends so that the impact is something that McDonalds will feel.

You risk losing lots of business. God and I hate sin. We both LOVE homosexuals- but hate their sin.

If McDonalds was a sponser for the Gay Pride Parade, which is simply full of sexual deviation, I am sure they are cheerleaders for the "Sisters of Perpetual Motion" that did their best to make a mockery, by dressing in drag and attending service at a Catholic church. This is a disgrace.
What's amazing is the number of families that eat at McDonalds daily, or every other day. Shouldn't traditional families get together for traditional famiy meals - a meal cooked at home - and enjoyed at a shared table, with family conversation? What kind of traditional families do these people have that eat so many times a week at McDonalds?

These people talk about spending thousands of dollars a YEAR at McDonalds, and way too many try to tart up their protests by claiming to "dine" at McDonalds.

AFA: BoycottMcDonalds.com

Huffington Post: McDonalds Makes Jesus Cry, by Chris Kelly

Death Cookie Held Hostage

consecrated host
Webster Cook, a student at the University of Central Florida, returned the kidnapped body of Christ under as armed UDF police officers stood guard. The police were there to protect the body of Christ from any further shenanigans.

Cook had smuggled a communion wafer out of a June 29 service.

Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese said, "It is hurtful. Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."

Yes, just imagine.

I don't suppose the church considered asking Cook for proof of life.

Bill Donohue weighs in: Florida Student Abuses Eucharist

From the Catholics: Webster F. Cook: ...a thief and his excuses..., Cook's written statement, and a call for paddling

RichardDawkins.net: It's A Goddamned Cracker!